This is Mister Saturday Night. Welcome. These are the rules of the house.

1. First and foremost, enjoy yourself.

2. At the door, keep in mind that the cover is really the cover. Everyone likes a deal, but throwing parties has its costs, and we need your help to make it happen. If you’re supposed to be on the guestlist but you’re not, don’t give the doorman a hard time. He’s heard a lot of stories, and though yours might be true, the only thing he has to go on is what’s in front of him. (Truth be told, we don’t often have a guestlist anyhow.)

3. Please don’t bring your own drinks into the party. Drinks at the bar are cheap anyway.

4. Be nice to everyone. Buy someone a drink. Tip well. Say excuse me if you bump into someone.

5. This is a no aggression zone. If someone’s making you feel uncomfortable, please let someone who’s working know. We will nip it in the bud.

6. Please don’t use cameras and phones on the dancefloor, and leave bulky handbags at home or in coat check. You wanna have those hands free! (When we’re outdoors, we also ask that you not smoke on the dancefloor.)

7. Whenever we’re indoors, our DJ booth hangs from the ceiling, which means if you lean on it, run into it, or bump it, records will start skipping. Please be careful of it.

8. When DJs are in the booth, it may not always look like it, but they’re working. Even if they’re not actively mixing, they’re surveying the dancefloor, thinking about what to play next, and trying to make sure that the music stays just right. It’s okay to ask them what song they’re playing, but beyond that, please save conversations for when they’re out of the booth.

9. The DJs at the Mister have a particular musical vision, so they don’t take requests.

10. Please smoke outside. (And when we’re outdoors, please smoke off of the dancefloor.)

11. Finally, thanks for reading. We’re glad you’re with us. We hope you enjoy yourself.